It is just not often on Father's day. You will only have one dad. Some are better than others. Perhaps it is important, perhaps it just is.
I recognized my father for who he really was before he died. I wish I had not. I wish I had still believed he was perfect. But maturity sucks that way so very often.
My dad gave me many things. And I like to believe in his own way, he loved me as much as he could love a daughter. He was a distant man and we spent many silence filled hours each reading a book "together". Funny to tell someone you miss the silence of their presence.
He died at 59. I hold my breath to see if I will make it that long. The raw truth is - it doesn't matter.
His only foul word was "piss ant" and he hated ice cream with fresh fruit in it, hot spicy food and nick named me "peanut". His best quote was "when a large amount of excretory products culminates an intimate relationship with a set of rotating blades. I was his first child and his only daughter. It was not a match made in heaven - we just ran into each other and had some things in common. I see him when I look at my hands.
He didn't understand growing up and I don't give the credit for who I have become to him or my mom. They had input.
But, Ric - he is why I am - who I am. He nurtured me and guided me and held my hand. He gave me freedoms and trusted me when I wanted to jump - he told me to always trust my cape. He used to joke he didn't take me to raise - but in so many ways that is what he did. He has been my best friend for over 34 years and he is who I think of on this day.
We may have 4 legged fuzzy kids but, none had a better "dad".
I think Father's day is a day for those who gave you their soul - perhaps in different ways - who would die for you, who would kill for you and who love you no matter the day.
I am very lucky to have someone who has been and does all those things.
Happy Father's Day!